4 years old, I vividly recall my father on one knee speaking to me as I looked upward toward his face. Suddenly, he is in his blue Volkswagen hatchback driving away. I look down at the green grass at my feet and walk to the garage behind my parents Passaic home. I look at my Radio Flyer sled and walk into my house. Life changed after that. Grass was never as green again as then.
Abandoned, my brother and I were left with my unstable, mentally ill mother. My mother committed adultery multiple times: my father justly divorced her.
I'm struggling as my wife is also committing adultery. I've been married 26 years. I love her with all my heart. I pray everyday for healing and reconciliation.
I wrestle with this memory these many years later as my life lately has now become unraveled. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't flashback to that day. Through DivorceCare, I am now on a "Journey Into Forgiveness."
God commands us to forgive. Because He commands us, then it is possible for us to forgive, no matter what the circumstances. He doesn't promise that it will be easy, but He promises that it can be done.
"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times'" (Matthew 18:21-22).
Mom & Dad, I forgive you. I love you both and wish God's blessing upon both of you. Dad, it is my most fervent desire to see you behind those pearly gates when I've breathed my last. Dad passed away when I was 14.
God, help me to let go of this trauma. I give it up to you. Help me to be a survivor and no longer a victim.
